Single mothers… The term single motherhood inspired an unprecedented kind of awe in me and
always made me think on the lines of independence and power. Not just single
mothers, fatherhood too, had an inspiring role to play in my life. I endeavored
to become like my father. To express myself like him, to become an all rounder like
him and inspire my kids like him. As a child, my favourite game used to be role-play, where I'd become papa and mumma and enact different situations.
When I turned 21, I told my school friend that I can now become
a father. “Ab main baap ban sakta hun,” were my words to him. As destiny would
have it, I became a father a year back. A year back, began a journey that I had
never anticipated as, like all kids, I always took my father’s presence for
granted. And in the last few weeks I eventually learnt about single-motherhood
as well. That, because once again like all kids, I took my mother’s presence
for granted.
It so happened that my mother, sister and dog fell ill at
the same time, two of them suffering viral fever and the other with preliminary
symptoms of dengue. What followed was a stressful period of nursing them and
managing (read mismanaging) work. While on one hand the patients in the house
needed proper meals. On the other, my work place expected my presence as
my role calls for it to drive the business.
Given the circumstances, I did take leave of absence to be able to do
the chores and run all the errands unhindered. But one cannot completely
disconnect from the job that provides for you. Thus began a part-hilarious,
part-frustrating roller-coaster ride that had me taking calls about where I have
stored a certain file in shared folder while trying to buy a papaya plant at a nearby
nursery. The plant chose not to survive… So, the next time I decided to visit that
nursery to buy papaya leaves, I tripped on the pavement and almost nosedived
into the shallow cliff where it is located. When my mom kept instructing me
through her delirious fever to switch off all the lights before sleeping, and my
dog decided to go on a barking fit just when I was about to sleep each night.
Looking at the recovering faces was enough to energize me and keep
me going. Every morning I gathered myself and got into action as there wasn’t
any time to sit back and think. This period also gave me a tad bit of time to
discover that my mobile phone has a Hindi keyboard that supports Devnagri script.
But, this did show me the other side of the story, too. I experienced what my mother does as a single-mother and what every single-mother on this planet does every single day. Those seven days seemed never ending with the days starting at 6 in the morning and going on till post-midnight. Each day had me stepping out of the house at least five times and each day had me saluting all mothers who go through this without a wince.
And also, fatherhood… Men are always expected to be strong,
to bear it all and never utter an expression of pain. To provide for the
family, always appear energetic and look interested in the household trivia. To
do what is expected of them and never to think of their own wishes or desires, wants
or needs. Think
of a person who goes through this entire cycle and is not even allowed to shed
tears!
The last one week taught me that, I too, cannot afford to shed tears. The last week humbled me as nothing else could. The last
week added a bit more to my ever-inspiring awe for single-mothers and
fathers - It’s called respect!
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